How mom survives when the entire house is sick

So far January has been a really difficult month of non-stop illness in our household.

Our youngest suffered a double ear infection as we rang in the new year, crying through the night until we got her to the doctor and on antibiotics. Then we all were hit with the flu, fevers and chills and fatigue left us missing out on all kinds of fun.

And finally, a stomach bug hit us hard, knocking us down again and leaving me wondering when we’d ever catch a break.

I’ve been in continual caretaker mode for two weeks, trying to rest and heal myself, but also constantly caring for my sick babies. I’ve washed an unfathomable amount of laundry, cleaned our bathrooms constantly, and been generally working hard to remove any residue of these viruses from our home.

There’s been nights when I’ve cried tears of fatigue and exhaustion, wondering when the sickness would end. Physical illness has its way of leaving me completely burned out, feeling alone and worn down to the bone. It’s easy for me to be overcome by anxieties and fears. What are we doing wrong that we’re always so sick? Am I failing as a mother somehow?

These few weeks I’ve been trying to lift myself out of survival mode and enjoy some respite, grasp some small pleasures and joys. Below are some of the ways I’ve been getting through this hellish bout of illness.

1. Taking time for myself: Right now time to myself is scarce and sacred, but I am making sure that I give myself quiet moments of rest and respite. For me that means reading a good book while the kids watch TV or nap, taking a hot bubble bath when my husband returns from work, driving to the nearest Tim Hortons and treating myself to a silent car ride and a hot tea, or taking a nap while the kids nap. In order to take time for myself I need to sacrifice some things, like folding laundry or cleaning. It means making myself a priority even when it seems impossible, by asking for help or simply saying I must take a moment for me. Even if all I can spare is five minutes of quiet in my bedroom, I do what I must to get those moments.

2. Lowering my expectations: Right now my expectations are way low. Yesterday my oldest stayed home from school while both my husband and I were laid flat with the flu, and she watched six movies! That sounds ridiculous, but when you’re in survival mode you do what you have to do - and six movies is what kept her entertained while my husband and I took turns napping in bed. Likewise, household chores are on the bottom list of priorities right now. I try my best when I get a small amount of energy to clean a room for five minutes. I figure I can do anything for five minutes - and usually a few of those five minutes of cleaning keeps our house somewhat tidy. I also clean counters and bathrooms with lysol wipes, not typical for me, but it gets rid of the germs and it’s fast.

3. Eating - whatever: Right now our meals are pretty sad, but nobody is capable of making a nutritious meal in this house. We eat sandwiches, toast, crackers - lots of bread - but that seems to be what we’re craving. We’ve also ordered or picked up meals a few times, something we haven’t budgeted for, but we have to eat somehow! I’m trying to let go of the stress and anxiety that not feeding my family brings, and just accept that right now we are doing whatever we can to survive.

4. Releasing the guilt: This month I have felt a lot of guilt. Social media has a way of publishing all kinds of guilt-worthy articles about the ways we’re failing, especially when it comes to our health (or lack thereof). I’ve beat myself up a lot debating on all the ways I’ve failed, feeling shame over one thing to the next. But I’m choosing to let that go, remembering that I am doing my very best for my family. Reminding myself that this season isn’t forever, and we will be better and healthy soon helps me to put things into perspective too.

My hope is that next week none of us are sick, and we can enjoy some special family time outside of the house!