I have always loved September and the feeling that with a new season comes a fresh start.
The air grows crisp, trees release their dead leaves, and stores are stocked with knit sweaters, fresh packages of pens and pencils, and beautiful golden yellow and apricot orange wreaths.
This year I have had every intention of starting off September on the right foot. I would pack healthy meals for my eldest daughter’s school lunches, I would start teaching my middle daughter some simple preschool lessons, and I’d get my youngest daughter on a routine sleep schedule.
I also decided now was the best time to get on top of cooking, cleaning, keeping everything organized, and continue my writing from home job.
I really wanted to get organized and energized this season. My intentions were all good, but I’ve had way too many balls in the air, and quickly they’ve all come crashing down.
Last week we were reminded that the stack of papers we received from school were still unsigned, and we were the last family left to return them. Whoops.
Recently I also received a letter that the school was starting their chocolate fundraiser. I mulled over selling chocolates, dealing with my children begging me to buy them half the box, and collecting money and keeping everything organized. I thought about it for about two minutes before checking the box “Please don’t send any chocolates home, here’s a donation instead.”
To top it all off, a few days ago, after keeping my oldest daughter home because she was overtired, I realized that we also missed the school open house. I had completely forgotten.
I nearly burst into tears, feeling heaps of guilt and shame. September wasn’t over and I was already failing at being a school mom.
Because I’m not a type-A personality, when I get overwhelmed I want to just curl up into a cozy blanket with a nice steaming cup of tea and close my eyes. And some days it’s okay to do just that.
But I also think I need to take some time to sit and decide, what are my priorities right now? I obviously don’t thrive when the to-do list stretches a mile long, so some things need to be crossed off all together.
I truly think it’s okay to opt out of school programs like fundraising, in favour of a donation instead. And yes, we took a bit longer to sign off some forms, but we did do it once we were gently reminded. As for the slip-up of the school orientation. Yes, that was a bad blunder, but there’s always next year, sometimes we just need to forgive ourselves and do better next time.
Right now, life is busy and my three kids are in their own very unique seasons. I’m not energized, and even a fresh new clean slate isn’t going to change that.
I hope all of us parents out that that feel like we are already packing uninspired lunches, dropping our kids off after the bell rings, and forgetting to sign the forms on time, remember that we are doing our very best.
Now I’m off to write a cheque for pizza day. That is not a form I want to miss out on!