The moment most people discover the children in her stroller are twins is when the questions begin, says Julie Brown-Hallman.
She said people raising multiple birth children can get everything from, ‘what did you do when you found out?’ to ‘how do you afford them?’ or ‘it must be a lot of work.’
“It’s fun taking them for walks in the stroller because you get stopped so often. You can get some really unbelievable questions,” said Brown-Hallman.
As a member of the executive of Multiple Births Guelph Wellington — a non-profit support group for parents or expectant parents of twins, triplets or more — Brown-Hallman said those questions and more often come up during the group’s meetings.
Members with older multiples can take on a mentorship role with expectant parents or the parents of newborns.
“A lot of people will ask, ‘how did you sleep train your twins? How did you get them on the same schedule?’ That kind of thing,” said Brown-Hallman.
One story that often comes out among members is ‘what did you do when you found out?’
Judging by stories she has heard, quipped Brown-Hallman, there can often be a lot of swearing in the ultrasound room.
“Some people are completely shocked when they find out, obviously. You go in thinking you will find out the sex of the baby or how far along you are and then come out thinking, ‘how are we supposed to pay for this?’” said Brown-Hallman.
Being a twin herself, Brown-Hallman said she was excited when she and her husband Mark Hallman found out they were expecting twins.
The couple would often volunteer together, said Brown-Hallman, so once the twins got a little older they began volunteering within the group.
Think of just about everything needed to buy when expecting a baby, and then double it, triple it or more, said Brown-Hallman, depending on how many multiples are expected.
“We actually had to trade in our car — which we had just bought — because we had to put two bucket seats in the back,” said Brown-Hallman.
Twice a year, the group holds a ‘We’ve outgrown It’ sale, in which members can sell off items they no longer need, but may be useful to families with younger multiples.
The sale is open to the public and to families single births, but as a perk of membership group members get first crack at the deals.
Brown-Hallman first became aware of the group when she heard about the sale.
The next ‘We’ve Outgrown It’ sale is planned for Apr. 21 at the Centennial CVI cafetorium.
The group also organizes family outings and events that offer just the parents a night to get together to socialize. Recently the group went to a local axe-throwing venue.
It’s hard for any new parents to get a night to themselves, notes Brown-Hallman, it can be even more difficult for parents of multiples.
Another member perk is the group’s helping hands program in partnership with the University of Guelph’s Child Care and Learning Centre, in which students come to member homes to offer support.
It’s not a babysitting service, notes Brown-Hallman, but the helping hands watch the children in the home, allowing parents to have a shower, take a nap, prepare dinner or any number of other things.
Brown-Hallman said the group is one of the smallest chapters of Multiple Births Canada, having between 30 and 35 member families.
Growing up with a twin, Brown-Hallman said she promised herself she wouldn’t dress her children identically as her parents did with her sister when they were young.
The fact she had a boy and a girl makes that promise easier to keep.
“It’s hard to find matching clothes for a boy and a girl, but sometimes I would try and do the same colour or their grandma would make some matching outfits,” said Brown-Hallman.
She and her sister had one notable opportunity to match once again as adults.
“We were bridesmaids at my sister’s wedding and of course we had the same dress. We hadn’t dressed the same in so long, probably about 15 years or so — everyone made a big deal,” said Brown-Hallman.
“You don’t want that all of the time, but it was fun for a special occasion,” she added.
Brown-Hallman said she is happy her pair are able to experience the bond twins often share with one another which she thinks, based by the experience she and her sister had, can be closer than with single births.
“A lot of the time I know what she is thinking or what she is going to say. I can tell her random things out of the blue and she knows exactly what I am talking about,” said Brown-Hallman.
Although her twins are now a little bit older, Brown-Hallman recalls hearing them wake up together over the baby monitor and babbling with each other or laughing together.
“You know they are going to grow up and always have each other,” she said.
