After much healing, a recovered alcoholic and survivor of clerical sexual abuse is trying to provide support to victims of trauma in Guelph.
Following his trial, which officially ended in May 2019, Robert McCabe began his charity, Recovery Speaking to provide support to help those with limited means recover from the trauma they experienced, whether it is from abuse, addiction or other incidents in their lives.
“I always knew once the trial was over that I wanted to do this for trauma victims,” said McCabe.
On Nov. 16 McCabe is sponsoring a free viewing of the 2019 Hot Docs winner PREY, a documentary that tells the story of survivor Rod Macleod as he pursues justice through a public trial hoping to bring attention to the hidden stories of clergy sexual abuse.
A story that McCabe is all too familiar with and a story that he is not afraid to share anymore.
McCabe’s traumatic incident took place in the summer of 1963 when he was an 11-year-old altar boy at St. Lawrence Parish Church in Scarborough where the priest was father Alphonse Robert.
“He started preparing me, he started grooming me as they say,” recalled McCabe detailing his initial interactions with the priest being prolonged hugs with his face touching McCabe’s at times when no one was watching.
“He was never being caught with it.”
McCabe said the priest began gaining the trust of his parents by visiting his home for tea regularly over the course of a year, asking them if he could take their son to Montreal to serve mass at the Basilica of Notre Dame.
“My mom approached me that father Hobert wanted to take me to Montreal. At 11 years old when the priest picks you, you feel pretty special. And so I went to Montreal,” said McCabe.
During the road trip, McCabe said the priest brought up the subject of sex, women’s body parts, masturbation and erections in the light that 'it isn’t wrong.’
“And then he told me specifically and in great detail, a good way to masturbate. And I’m 11 years old, I have no idea what he’s talking about,” said McCabe.
McCabe said the two then stopped in a motel in Cornwall.
“He opens the door and there’s one double bed and I said ‘that’s one double bed’ and he looked and said ‘that’s all we’re going to need,’” said McCabe, who was sexually abused that night.
“I have never in my life experienced fear like I had at that moment and I just laid absolute still,” said McCabe.
“My perception of a priest was, you’re wearing a collar, you’re next to God. And my teaching from my mother who was very religious, very Catholic was ‘you never question the priest.”
The next morning the priest asked him to read mass at the Basilica.
“Before I served mass for him, we were standing in front of the altar by the confessionals and he said 'do you want to confess your sins to me?' and I said 'no.’ Now here’s a man that just did what he did to me and he wants me to confess my sins to him,” said McCabe.
McCabe said the next morning when he was dropped off to his house, he had no recollection of the incident when he entered his home.
“I remember thinking I can never tell mom or dad about this because they will never believe me. Who’s going to believe me when I go up against a priest?” said McCabe.
It wasn’t until 2010 that McCabe had a moment of clarity where he was able to recall that incident in detail which also initiated his journey towards recovery. However, leading up to that moment of clarity was 40 years of his life that he immersed himself in self-destruction and alcoholism.
“I burned my life to the ground. I abandoned my kids, I abandoned my wife, I abandoned everything and I had no one left in my life and I wanted to commit suicide and I didn’t have the guts to do it,” said McCabe.
He said the viewing of the film PREY is designed to raise awareness of the significant repercussions of trauma that exist across the world and are not usually not heard of until years after the incident.
McCabe said that the trial in PREY is not about guilt or innocence.
“It’s really about letting many others learn the truth of how and why the sexual abuse of children has gone on for so long without the church stopping it,” said McCabe.
The viewing of PREY will take place at the River Run Centre at 7 p.m. on Nov. 16 and will be followed by a panel discussion with the film’s producer and director Matt Gallagher, victim Rod Macleod and lawyer Robert Talach who served as McCabe’s initial lawyer (McCabe was later represented by Paul Ledroit) in his case against father Alphonse Robert and who has filed 395 suits against the Church, earning him the nickname “the priest hunter.”
Recovery Speaking can be contacted at [email protected]
