Margaret Anne Laing was born at 2:30 p.m. on August 30, 1926 at the Hotel Dieu in Windsor to Lulu Gladys Laing (nee Bain) and William Oswald Laing. Lulu wrote that the nurse said “she had the prettiest flowers and the best baby.”
Margaret grew up in the town of Essex, Ontario, during the roaring twenties and on into the great depression, when her family lost their newly-built home to local land taxes and moved in with her paternal grandmother, also in Essex. Margaret spent her teenage years with her mother Lulu, who was a teacher and a social activist, because her father William returned to military service in 1939 and was posted overseas as a Commissioned Officer of Canada’s Dental Corp. William had first enlisted in WW1 at the age of sixteen, was wounded at Passchendaele, spent two years recovering in a British hospital, and then returned to Canada to study and become a Dental Surgeon.
Margaret whizzed through grade school and finished grade 13 when she was 16 years old. During these war years Margaret also served as a Farmerette with many other teenage girls in the area, and also had loads of “swell times” attending school dances and Callithumpian parades, and having great fun with her mother and with her large extended family in the vicinity, and with Mary Parish, a special young friend and cousin from Toronto. Shortly after the war Margaret’s family moved to Lambeth, Ontario, when her father accepted a Dentistry position at the Westmount Veterans’ hospital in London. Margaret went from high school directly to Western university in London where she earned her Bachelor of Science Degree in Biology, followed by her Master’s Degree in Zoology. Margaret’s post-graduate research was related to the identification of sex chromatins -- later called Barr Bodies -- under advisor Murray Barr, for which Dr. Barr later received the Order of Canada.
Mom’s university years were a whirlwind of studies and social events, with studies often squeezed between parties and sporting events and Big Band dances with the likes of the Tommy Dorsey orchestra, all while living at home with her parents and various girlfriends who lived with them while also attending Western. Later in life, as a married woman with grown children of her own, Margaret continued this tradition with other women – Heather and Gill and Alex – as they lived with Margaret during their own studies and activities. All of these women brought joy into Margaret’s life.
Meanwhile, back in the 1940’s while engaged in her post-graduate studies, Margaret met and fell in love with Arthur Renfree Graham, who was working towards his own Masters degree in physiology; Arthur later earned a Doctorate with his studies in neurophysiology. Margaret was consistently asked to continue her own studies as a Doctoral candidate, but by 1950 she and Arthur had married and both wanted a large family; Margaret, though torn, was persuaded by social convention to decline further studies; it was, Margaret once said, her only regret, and she envied the ease with which society today made it easier for women to blend motherhood, studies, and paid work.
Margaret and Arthur moved to Newfoundland for several years with Arthur’s first academic posting, where they started their family with a son, William Arthur Graham. Not many years later they moved back to Ontario and settled in Guelph, and by 1965 they had four young children. When asked what she remembered of the 1960’s, Margaret once replied with her usual wit that the 1960’s were a blur of “diapers, Cuba, Kennedy, and King … and not another thing.” In truth, the 1960’s were years of both great joy and profound sadness for Margaret – Arthur’s near-fatal coronary, the prolonged illnesses and hospitalizations of both her parents, and the death of her mother Lulu – all to be followed in the early seventies by her father William’s death and Margaret’s own hospitalization and extended recovery. Margaret never lost the ability to enjoy life, however, and got one of her greatest joys, during and after raising her own family, from spending time with her extended families of origin and marriage, and with her dear friends Denise, Eleanor, Leah, and Sherry.
As a child, Christmas in Essex was a very special time for the Laings and the Bains, and so it continued for Margaret with her own family in Guelph well into Margaret’s eighties, after which she came to spend Christmases with her eldest daughter and family. Another joy in Margaret’s life was lake and cottage life – at Cedarcroft Lodge as a child and teenager, at Port Elgin with Arthur while the children were growing up, and finally at Gobles Grove with Mary’s family in her later years.
Margaret loved travel, and as a widow she often took extended jaunts with her dear friend Denise, including a trip to England – a journey of great excitement. Margaret also spent a few days in London, England with her younger son John, and toured Ireland with her daughters Mary and Susan, where she even had some time with her friend and son-in-law, Moe. Margaret also loved theater, opera, and ballet, and indulged in regular trips to Toronto with the University Womens’ Club and with her own daughters to enjoy the Royal Ballet as well as musical and dramatic theatre, and to visit museums as opportunities arose. Later in life Margaret regularly attended more local musical theatre productions with Denise.
Margaret was an accomplished artist, tailor, and seamstress, along with a being a scientist. She designed and made her own wedding dress and many other garments, and belonged to the Guelph Needlecraft Guild for many years, where each year Margaret would invite her daughters to attend the Guild’s Open House and Fashion Show, where Margaret invariably modelled her designs of intricately-constructed clothing-art, and displayed her heirloom and quilting creations. Margaret also studied painting with Harold Muller for many years and spent hours of pleasure perfecting her skills with watercolour nature-painting.
Margaret’s diagnosis of late-onset Alzheimer’s at the age of almost 90 didn’t stop her scientific curiosity, and she immediately arranged to watch a full-length documentary on the subject. Margaret was able to remain where she wanted to be, in her own home, for four years following the diagnosis, enjoying every day and getting pleasure out of every moment, thanks to her third grandchild and kindred spirit, Katherine, who lived with her during this time to bring laughter and dignity and daily adventures into Margaret’s life, right up until her more rapid decline, which began in the Spring of 2019.
Margaret died at 9:40 p.m. on Monday January 3rd 2022 at Cambridge Memorial Hospital, surrounded by her eldest daughter, Mary Lu Anne Gardner (nee Graham) and husband Moe Jacobs, and by her youngest daughter, Susan Margaret Graham. Margaret is also survived by her eldest son, William Arthur Graham, her youngest son, John Douglas Graham, and by 8 grandchildren (Lindsay Allison Graham; Brandon William Arthur Graham; Katherine Victoria Gardner; Andrew Charles Arthur Gardner; James Graham; Caroline Graham; Samantha Parisotto; Leah Parisotto) and 2 great-grandchildren (Austin Marc Boulanger; Chloe Alexandra Boulanger).
We all miss Margaret, and are grateful that we had her in our life for so long.
Private cremation has taken place. A Celebration of Margaret’s life to be held at a later date. As expressions of sympathy, donations to the Alzheimer Society would be appreciated by the family. Donation cards are available at the Gilbert MacIntyre & Son Funeral Home, Dublin Chapel 519-822-4731 or leave condolences online at www.gilbertmacintyreandson.com.