HAWKER, Brian - died peacefully on April 16th, 2024, embraced by song, a precious quilt, and seven big ‘Brizey’ fans, at the age of 79, in Guelph Ontario. He is predeceased by his beloved wife Andrea, parents Frank Hawker and Enid Rice, and brothers David Hawker and John Hawker. Brian will be deeply missed by his nephew Geoff Hawker (Jennifer Tung) and niece Whitney Hawker (Jeff Brown), both of whom were and remain precious and devoted kin to Brian in life, illness and death. He is also predeceased by his nephew Leith Hawker, and will be remembered by his niece Kelly Hawker. Brian will be missed by great nieces Sophie, Gemma and Emily, and great nephew Sam, as both a grandfatherly figure, and a special supporter of their dreams. He was an engaged, loving godfather to Isaan, who will grow up with many treasured teachings. Brian was someone for whom family took on an expansive definition, and who inspired expansion of one’s own conception of family. He will be missed as an honorary family member at many tables and in many homes.
Brian was born on January 15th, 1945, in Montreal, Quebec. Prior to the prolific vocational life he went on to have, Brian spent much of his younger life enjoying the company of his brothers and their young families, particularly around the Sunday dinner table. Brian loved the idea of having multiple places where you could walk-in without knocking, shed your coat and your brave face, grab a mug and pour some coffee. Over the course of his life, he found himself cultivating such havens in Montreal, Tanzania, Tamarindo, Sioux Lookout, Guelph, Vancouver, and Kitchener, among others.
Brian was a teacher. He also happened to make his living in classrooms and other formal educational spaces. His wisdom was unpretentious; his lessons started with curiosity about the student. Brian’s resume would tell you that for over two decades he worked at Concordia University, fulfilling many roles, including: ESL program Coordinator, University Ombudsman, Assistant Director for the MBA Program, and Assistant to the Associate Dean in the Faculty of Commerce. He then went on to be the Director of a B.Ed Program and School Success Planner in Northwestern Ontario. Brian’s students would tell you that he broke the right rules, and mended fractured confidence. That he was relatable, disarming and kind.
After moving from Montreal to Sioux Lookout, Brian spent over a decade sitting with Elders and his Indigenous neighbours, taking stock of the current educational system in Northwestern Ontario, and dreaming of spaces for learning that were culturally safe, historically informed, *staffed* and accessible. In the decade that followed, he spent much of his time trying to concretize these dreams through consultant work and relationship building, even after moving to Guelph. In addition to working toward a new conception of schooling in Northern Ontario, Brian wrote a book exploring what is required for future generations of Indigenous children to thrive, which summarized all he had learned from cherished friends and mentors, to whom he felt he owed so much. The book’s title: “The Crooked Path: Colonization to Decolonization”.
Brian was fascinated with the concept of truth. He famously said that the pursuit of truth is an asymptote; we can get closer, but will never arrive with certainty. He believed that even when you are most certain, love and graciousness can (and should) dwell in the crack between your certainty, and what lies beyond it, allowing for dialogue and humility. Brian treasured his people. If he permitted himself one certainty, it was that to have community and friendship, is to be rich in the ways that matter.
Brian and Andrea shared of themselves generously, drawing the circle wide around those who needed it, and creating spaces where humor, fun and spiritedness healed and connected. They hosted film nights, themed dinner parties, international cuisine take-out, foraged for local ingredients and dropped them on porches, created book clubs and art spaces and poetry nights. Brian played the part of swamp monster in many a fantastical backyard hangout, to the terrified delight of many a child. He dared to rewrite Leonard Cohen songs, immortalizing the playful spirit of Sioux Lookout’s local Sally Ann and the volunteers who run the show. This truly deep reserve of love and outreach in part reflected the powerful imprint of lonely grief-filled seasons, and a desire for others to be spared, at least in part, going through hard things alone. Brian and Andrea grieved deeply the fact that they were unable to have children, and grieved even more deeply the societal silence around infertility. This complex experience of loss, while unresolved until the end, was nevertheless in part the inspiration for the beautiful, close connections he and Andrea had with so many children.
Brian was an alchemist. He knew how to cultivate alive-ness from life’s gritty, grief-shrouded experiences. How to find the ember, tend it, and create something worth cherishing. Brian knew how to find and magnify small wins - things to be proud of and launch from. He was careful to show interest in someone’s present self, rather than impose an agenda. In doing this, he made one feel profoundly sufficient. In our present world, this is a rare, precious gift.
Two of Brian’s oft repeated phrases near the end of his life were “go towards beauty”, attributed to Andrea, and “one of life’s greatest gifts is to explore unanswerable questions in good company”. Right up to the final moments of his life, Brian did both.
A celebration for Brian will be held at the Unitarian Congregation of Guelph, located at 122 Harris St., Guelph, Ontario, beginning at 3 pm on May 6th, 2024. A reception will follow at 31 Pinetree Drive, Guelph, Ontario. A livestream of the ceremony is available via a Zoom link on the funeral home website (https://wallcustance.com/) or contact the Unitarian Congregation for more details closer to the date. A second celebration will be held in Sioux Lookout, Ontario on June 15th, 2024, with details to follow by contacting his close friends in the Sioux Lookout community.
Arrangements entrusted to WALL-CUSTANCE FUNERAL HOME & CHAPEL (519-822-0051 / www.wallcustance.com).
In lieu of flowers, please consider supporting Operation Smile at https://operationsmile.ca/ and follow the Donate link. This organization supports corrective surgery for children with cleft conditions. Alternatively, Brian was a long-time student and supporter of the Ontario Vipassana Centre for meditation. They accept “in memoriam” contributions on behalf of previous students. https://www.dhamma.org/en/schedules/schtorana
A tree will be planted in memory of Brian Hawker in the Wall-Custance Memorial Forest.