Nothing ever seemed to get Matthew Framst down. He never stopped moving, never stopped caring, never stopped being positive.
“Matt was joy. He was the energy of our family,” said Tania Framst, the mother of the 19-year-old who died Friday when his motorcycle collided with an SUV a few blocks from home, just two days after his birthday.
“He was just so happy to be alive,” she said.
An adrenaline chaser with a zest for adventure that terrified his parents at times, Matt was often injured, always with a broken bone or stitches from skateboarding or snowboarding or some other activity. But it never stopped him.
Tania said she didn’t know where that adventurous spirit came from, but it certainly wasn’t her.
“Even in the womb, he never stopped kicking. He didn’t sleep as a baby; he escaped everywhere. We had to have locks on the front door because he would escape the house. He climbed over any baby gate, he started riding a two-wheeler bike at the age of two or three, and was doing jumps at three years old.”
At 10, he started scootering with his and his brother’s friends, hanging out in the ward all the time ”like a little scooter gang.”
They switched to skateboards when they got older, and Matt was hooked, spending hours and hours practicing tricks.
He loved everything about skateboarding: the energy it burned, the accomplishment of learning a trick after hours of practice, doing tricks in front of people, but most of all, the community. You could often find him helping younger kids at the skatepark, patiently teaching them tricks.
When the Silvercreek Skatepark opened, he would come home with salt crystals on his head from sweating so much.
“He always complained that there was nowhere to refill water,” she said. So she would drive him there, the car filled with giant jugs of water.
Matt attended St. James high school. As he got older, he redirected much of that energy to cars and motorcycles.
He started work at Vinnie's Mr Fixit as a co-op student in high school, and in April began working at Michael’s Automotive Services.
“It was really hard to find something for Matt to pay attention to that wasn’t skateboarding and socializing,” his mom said. “He learned a lot at Vinnie’s and then moved on to Michael’s. And they were just so good to him. I never had to wake him up for work, like I did for school every day of his life – he was just so enthusiastic.”
His parents were thrilled that he had found something he was so passionate about, and Matt was especially proud when he used the money he earned at Michael's to buy himself 2003 Toyota and a Honda motorcycle.
And while, like any teenager, he could get into mischief here and there, he was “always so caring and respectful.”
“He would still hold my hand at 17 or 18, if we were going out shopping. He said I love you every day, even on the days when he was an angry teenager,” his mom said.
Matt was especially close with his grandma, whose life he helped save when he was just six-years-old.
“She had an unknown brain tumour. They were out alone together, and she collapsed as they were getting into the car. But he had known before that something was wrong because she showed signs of a stroke,” she said. “When she collapsed, he knew exactly what to do.”
He ran into a nearby nursing home and found staff to call paramedics.
“They have a special bond, a lot for that reason,” she said.
They had been celebrating his 19th birthday just before the accident on Friday with a family birthday dinner. He blew out the candles on his ice cream cake and clapped, “he was just so happy.”
After dinner, Tania was getting ready to take the dog for a walk with Matt's grandma.
“Because grandma joined, he said 'you know what, I’ll go with you.' And he walked grandma around the block and chatted up a storm with her. Even though he knew his friends were waiting to go out, on a Friday night, for his 19th birthday.”
“He didn’t even go to the bar. He didn’t do any of that. He was just going to visit his girlfriend,” she said. “And the last thing I said to him was ‘have fun, be safe’ and he said ‘don’t worry Mom, I will.’”
After the accident, at first, Tania thought what she needed was space and privacy. But then they learned about the memorial Matt’s friends had put together.
“We learned that they stayed at the scene where it happened the whole night. And the number of people, including strangers, who have been stopping by paying respects. And there was an impromptu vigil a couple nights ago,” she said. “The difference that has made in my ability to cope, and to keep breathing. That made me want to share with everyone … it made me realize how many people really cared about Matt, and our family.”
The outpouring of support from the community inspired them to set up a GoFundMe to build a water station at Silvercreek Skatepark in his honour, so other kids don't have to lug around giant water jugs like Matt did just to stay hydrated.
The campaign had an initial goal of $500, but has already surpassed $13,500 from more than 200 donors.
In the meantime, they are “grateful and overwhelmed” with the support they’ve been getting from the community.
“It really is what is helping us put one foot in front of the other each day. We’re getting through minute by minute,” she said.
Though devastated, the Framst family is asking for compassion for the other driver involved in the accident, who was charged with careless driving causing death.
While they don’t know who the driver of the SUV is, they “do know that they’re 17. We do know that they made a mistake. We also know that, as people who have (been teenagers) and raised three boys, that moments of carelessness happen, and typically, there are no consequences,” she said. “But in this case, there was a very horrible, horrible consequence. This person is going to have to cope with that the rest of their life.
“I don’t think anything will be accomplished by anger for this person,” she said.
Instead, she said, they’re going to do their best to honour Matt by “living lives of joy and adventure.”
An open house to celebrate Matt will happen at The Arboretum Centre from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. Those attending are asked to wear bright colours and bring dancing shoes. A skate in Matt's honour will follow at the Guelph Skatepark.
