The Guelph community came together to grieve, share hope, and connect with fellow LGBTQ+ people at a vigil for who they call, their sibling.
About 50 people came to a vigil held at Silence on Essex Street Wednesday for Nex Benedict, an Indigenous non-binary 16-year-old who died a day after a physical altercation occurred with students at their school in Oklahoma.
Benedict’s story felt close to home for Tracie Keans, a mom of two transgender children. Keans has a 16-year-old child who has faced bullying because they are transgender.
“I worry everyday about my children and their safety,” said Keans. She had never been to a vigil before and wished her 23-year-old son was here to be with his community.
“When my child said they're trans I was scared for their life,” said Kearns. She’s afraid they are going to be killed.
Shantz came out in Grade 6 and no one called them by their name or used their pronouns. In gym class there were boys and girls teams and Shantz wasn’t allowed to participate in either. They used the teacher’s washroom instead of using the gendered washroom they preferred to use.
“Don’t let these bullies scare you into hiding,” said Kearns.
“If I didn't have my community, I wouldn't be as strong as I am. I would not have fought back in the bathrooms in the change rooms, in gym,” said Shantz.
After speeches, organizers opened up the floor for anyone who wanted to share.
Kearns stepped up and shared how much she has learned from her children. She’s got to meet many people because of her children and she’s felt love and acceptance from them.
“Every time my kid changes their name I forget what it is. So I’m stuck on the one from three times ago but I accept whatever my children want to do,” she said.
She doesn't understand why people are so afraid to use a washroom with other people and why people would hate transgender people.
Mars Russell who helped organize the vigil shared their experience about growing up as a queer person in a small town and how far they have come.
“The first time I contemplated suicide I was 16. I debated saying this, worried about any children that might hear me speak but then I remembered that next Nex was a child. I was a child,” said Russell.
Benedict’s cause of death was ruled a suicide.
Eyes welled up in the audience as tears streamed down Russell's face while they shared their story.
At 25-years-old there have been times they’ve been knocked down but they’ve always been able to find their way back up.
They told the audience they are loved, embraced, and are important.
“When I think of the world that I want for you, for each of us, so many things come to my mind. Something so much better. I want less candlelit vigils and more candles on birthday cakes. More headlines about our success and less about the siblings we continue to lose. I need the list of names to stop getting longer. I want to celebrate trans lives before they are cut short. I want more birthdays than funerals,” said Russell.
Benedict’s story resonated with Russell and the Guelph LGBTQ+ community because “pain doesn't know borders,” they said in an interview.
Russell referenced the #1MillionMarch4Children protest at city hall in September where counter-protesters outnumbered protesters who stood against schools teaching young people about gender.
“And I think like so much of Guelph’s transphobia, homophobia, it comes from a place of ignorance and this fear of the unknown,” said Russell.
They are part of the transgender community in Guelph and they want it to grow. Transgender joy is as important as transgender grief, they said.
